I may get bit#@ slapped for this. This is why we’re fat. The honest truth.

I’m a jerk and here are the honest reasons why we’re fat. If you feel the urge to slap me silly at any time during this rant feel free to send me an email like this.

Dear J,


If you’re struggling to drop extra pounds, but aren’t having any luck, there’s no secret to the reasons why you’re still battling that bulge.

You’re either sleepwalking into the kitchen at night to eat entire boxes of cookies, or you’re not working hard enough. It’s hard to hear, but it’s true. And in order to make a difference, it might be time to get off your generously sized bottom and take charge of the situation. Again… feel free to send me thatat anytime.

Excuses, excuses

I know you have the usual lineup in your repertoire – I’ll start my diet tomorrow, after I eat this pizza, celebrate my promotion, or get through the food-filled holidays, etc. The excuses never seem to end, and neither will your dream of losing weight. But it will always be just that. Only a dream.

Ditch the excuses, and you’ll be one step closer to success.

Eat smart, not fast

Fast food can be like heroin, but it’s time for a little rehab.  A burger and fries can be part of a healthy diet, but not on a daily basis. In order to lose weight, you have to make smart food choices, trading the junk for food that serves as fuel and makes you more powerful and energized. Save the burgers for backyard barbecues, and make your own, loading them with slices of garden-fresh tomato, onions and dark, leafy lettuce, ramping up the nutrients to make every bite count.

Get out of restaurant mode

Forget what restaurants teach you about portion size. Unless you’re eating a tasting menu at a five-star restaurant, you’re likely being served more than you need. Cut it in half and eat the rest as another meal or share the entrée with someone else. Ask them to bring a box before you even start. When the plate comes, put half of it in there to save for leftovers tomorrow.

At home, make sure you know the serving size you should be eating, and measure it.  Using smaller plates can help you feel as if you’re eating more and will leave you feeling more satisfied. Don’t believe me? Read the popcorn study.

Get to steppin fool

Moving is hard, especially for heavier people. But taking the motorized cart at Wal-Mart to do your shopping is not going to help matters, especially when you fill it with chips and king-size candy bars.

Park your car farther away from the entrance to any destination (hopefully the gym, at least once in a while), take the stairs, ride your bike to the farmer’s market for smart food choices, do anything to get started on erasing a sedentary lifestyle.

You might even find that a little extra exercise – a walk around the block after eating, a few trips up and down the stairs during a lunch break – might entice you to join the gym, and there is where you’ll be able to make the real difference.

Hard-core dieting is for ninnies

I had a boss once who struggled to lose weight, and thought a hospital-sponsored liquid diet was the answer. After a few months on the plan, he and his wife had dropped a lot of weight, but he smelled a bit like stale chicken broth and his gums bled from lack of use. Plus, he’d learned nothing from the effort, and immediately went back to eating family sized meals including two foot-long subs, chips and candy bars at his desk, all in one night. His lost weight came back with a vengeance, and then some.

That’s why most of the contestants on “The Biggest Loser” see those hard-won lost pounds creep back on again.  When it comes to weight loss, slow and steady wins the race.

Eat less, work harder

The simple key to weight loss it this: eat less and move more. If you ride your bike for an hour at a pace of about 15 miles per hour, you’ll burn about 500 calories depending on your current weight. If you refuel with something smart, you’ll eventually lose weight. But if you eat mindlessly after your workout, you might end up stronger, but you won’t be slimmer.

  • Keep track of every bite you eat, using a notebook if you can’t remember.
  • Find something to take the place of emotional eating.
  • If you’re not hungry, don’t eat it. Even if it’s the office birthday cake.
  • Need some help getting started? Not sure how to workout? Trying to go Paleo. Give me a shout dude or dudette


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