“That was my first kiss,” she said. “My first real one.”
He brought his head close, resting his forehead on hers. Blond waves fell around her face, soft against her cheeks. His chest rose and fell as he drew in a breath. “Felt like the first real one for me, too.”
― Veronica Rossi, Under the Never Sky
How many of you remember your first kiss? You’re first real one? I’m not talking about some fourth grade peck on the lips, a big smooch your grandmother gave you on your lips for one of your birthdays, no no… none of those.
I’m talking about the one where you’re generally nervous, maybe even intimidated. You get that butterfly in the stomach feeling and feel as if you may lose your lunch while performing the act.
I definitely remember mine. How could I forget, I practiced it for weeks and I still went left…
What does going left mean? Keep reading.
I had “girlfriends” since the fourth grade. The kind of girlfriends where you try to hide in your closet or under the bed so that you can talk to them on the phone (no texting back in these days) way past your bedtime – and so Mom and Dad can’t hear what you’re saying.
I’d see them at school and try to talk to them when I could or acknowledge them at any given chance.
In my elementary school when you went to lunch, gym class, or moved anywhere throughout the school it was done in a nice single file line. While in line you weren’t allowed to wave at anyone, but instead you were allowed to thumb wave.
Note: A thumb wave is when you give someone the thumbs up and then bend the top knuckle so that it looks like it’s bowing.
I used the thumb wave for people I liked.
For my girlfriend at the time I used “The Double Thumb Twist.”
The Double Thumb Twist is when you see someone you “LOVE” and give them two thumbs up…..
I know what you’re thinking. TWO THUMBS UP!! Whoa, this is serious!
After the double thumbs up you turn them so that they’re facing each other and smoosh them together and then give a couple twists back and forth.
It sort of gives the impressions that they’re making out… pretty romantic huh?
Aside from a peck on the lips here and there in the sixth grade this was as far has kissing experience had taken me. My kissing game was not tight.
Fast forward to early seventh grade in Herndon, Virginia.
I was now in middle school.
Awwwww yeah! I was now a MAN dammit! (please feel my sarcasm). So many girls and so many lips to greet. No more thumb twisting for this guy. That’s an amateurs game, I was now going pro!
I made friends quickly in Middle School but the relationships you build at this age are often filled by trying to prove yourself to other people.
The guys I had made friends with were from a different Elementary then myself – and as it turns out, these fools had been kissing girls… real kisses (mouth a little open and all) since the sixth grade! Some even fifth and if I remember correct one of them in fourth grade.
Holy shit! I was really behind the ball here and needed to catch up. Especially before anyone found out that I hadn’t kissed someone before.
Imagine the shame right?
There was a cute girl in one of my classes that I often made googly eyes with and passed notes to.
Remember passing notes? Lets bring that back, how boss was that?
Anywho, I don’t want you all to think I was some weirdo, she gave the googly eyes back so the infatuation was reciprocated.
This was my chance, I had to get a kiss.
We had been talking on the phone for a little while and it was pretty clear we both liked each other. One Monday while talking on the phone I asked her if she’d meet me behind the trailer that our 5th period class was in because I wanted to talk to her about something.
However, I asked her if she’d meet me there in a week.
You girls are pretty intuitive and she knew I wanted to ask her out so she simply stated the obvious.
“Or I could meet you there tomorrow.”
Tomorrow? No way, I wasn’t ready! I had to prepare for this. It was my first REAL kiss.
So for the next week I used every excuse I could to buy myself some time.
- I skipped class
- Rushed off to the bathroom
- Stayed late to talk to a teacher
- Pretty sure I just sat there one day looking in my back pack for 15 minutes for absolutely nothing.
Anything I could think of in order to by myself a week of practice.
And that’s just what I did, I practiced kissing a stuffed Koala Bear for a week. I still have this Koala Bear and it even still has the permanent marker drawn on lips that I used as a target.
Let me tell you something, stuffed Koala Bears are not the best of kissers. For one they’re furry so when you go for a little tongue you’re going to get a mouth full of fuzz.
Secondly, they’re not very emotional. They sort of just sit there.
It’s still a little awkward between me and that Bear every time we see each other but we’ve managed to get past this intimate moment between each other and remain friends over the years.
Anyhow, after a week of practice I was ready. That Sunday night I called this girls and asked her to meet me behind the trailer after class.
She asked if I would actually be there… fair question.
Monday came and while sitting in that fifth period class I could do nothing but think of “The Kiss.” I visualized it over and over again. I was confident this was going to go down perfectly.
Class ended and she left first. I felt like I was going to throw up in my mouth a little (which would not make this first kiss very memorable). My stomach felt like someone was grabbing it and ringing it out like a soaking wet t-shirt. I was sweating profusely and my mouth was as dry as the Sahara.
I met her on the backside of the trailer. She looked confident (probably because she had actually kissed someone before), I was a bumbling mess. Classic, kicking at rocks near my feet, hands in my pockets, and eyes wandering around aimlessly as I tried to search my brain for the perfect words…
I found nothing. My head was as empty as the Cookie Monsters cookie jar. I sort of even forgot why I was there.
After some uncomfortable library like silence, which to me felt like a half hour but must have only been about 30 seconds she broke the ice.
“Sooooooo, you have something to ask me.”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s right. So umm, so, yeah, ummmmm….” Is pretty much what came out of my mouth. Better than my breakfast though and that’s sure what it felt like was going to come out.
“I really like you. I think we should be “official.” I awkwardly said.
Official!…. WTF does that even mean? Man up here Justin just ask her to be your girlfriend.
Luckily I didn’t have to, she did it for me.
“Sooooo, you want us to be boyfriend and girlfriend?” She asks.
“Yup” (Classic idiot response)
“Ok,” She says.
I was excited, that was easy enough but at the same time scared as all get up… once you “officially” become boyfriend and girlfriend you have to close the deal. You have to kiss the girl. Everyone knows that.
So I went in for the kill… poor choice of words. I went in for the love 🙂
I took a couple of steps forward, hands still in my pockets I mind you, looked her in the eyes; I was doing it man! I was going in. How awesome is this? First kiss about to go down like Charlie Brown!
I lean in and…..
I go left.
Yup, I turn my head to the left. Everyone and the kitchen sink knows that you’re suppose to go right. You always turn your head right.
The funny thing is I didn’t even realize it at the time. I was so lost in the excitement of the moment.
It wasn’t until years later when I ran into her randomly that I admitted it was my first kiss.
Her response, “No kidding, you went left.”
At first I was totally confused by what she had said.
Wait, what? Really? Are you serious? I went left?
“You sure did bub.”
A big life lesson learned from my first “real” kiss
Actually there are quite a few lessons that I learned from this experience but something that really stands out to me is this.
You can practice, prepare, and kiss all the Koala bears you want but when it comes down to it your emotions, thoughts, and feelings will almost certainly dictate your behaviors and how you take action.
While I’m all for practice make sure all that practice doesn’t keep you from getting started because if you’re chasing something that means a lot to you there is a good chance you’re going to feel anxious, nervous, uncertain, and scared.
Those emotions let us know that we’re doing something that is really important to us. The fact that we’re scared to death of f*cking it up means we care enough about it.
I know what you may be thinking, this little moment in time isn’t really a big deal in the grand scheme of things.
And you know what, you’re absolutely right. But to a seventh grade kid that has never had a real kiss before it is the biggest deal in his entire life.
Why the heck did I even right this post
What does this little story have to do with anything?
1. Sometimes it’s just fun to write and tell a story. If you have something similar to share I’d really love to hear it. Post it to the comments or email me personally. Each of us as some really cool and unique experiences to share and there’s a good chance that someone can relate to it in some way and it may even help them out.
2. The most important skill any of us can learn is how to master our emotions. I’m not even sure it’s actually possible to “master” them but I’d say it’s very possible to get infinitely better at controlling them if we work on it.
That is something myself and Limitless365 will be exploring in the upcoming year. I hope to be able to share what I learn in a way that you all can take advantage of.
Lastly just some stats from this past year
This site is runs on WordPress and every year they send out a little annual review that is pretty awesome. You can check out all the fanciness right here but I have also attached the info below.
The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 220,000 times in 2013 coming from 186 different countries (so COOL!). If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 9 days for that many people to see it.
In 2013, there were 70 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 216 posts.
The busiest day of the year was June 30th with 2,014 views. The most popular post that day was Why you should stop working harder and how to start working smarter.
Attractions in 2013
These are the posts that got the most views in 2013.
- 30 Truths in 30 Days: The first 30 days of Paleo and what to expect.
- Paleo & why no grains, dairy, and legumes
- DIY Pull-up bar + Superhuman pull-ups
- Living on purpose and why confusion is comfortable.
- The 4 Pillars of strength and how to achieve them.
How did they find you?
Some visitors came searching, mostly for diy pull up bar, inspirational quotes, limitless 365, limitless365, and why no legumes on paleo.
Some weird search terms were:
- Who the hell is Justin Miller
- Limitless drugs
- Bradley Cooper
- Limitless sex (hmmmmmm, interesting)
The top referring sites in 2013 were:
Looking ahead to 2014
- Where are some of you headed in 2014?
- What are some directions you’d like to see the Limitless365 community move towards?
- What are some areas in life you “went left” 🙂 and how’d that work out for ya?
Thanks for taking the time to read and participate in discussions with me through this website, emails, and in person. I appreciate the love and support you all have given me since starting this site and my own personal journey. I hope in some way it is helping you on yours.
As always live limitless,