The biggest obstacle to achieving anything you want is almost never external. In almost all cases the toughest fight will be the one you have internally – The fight between you and that three-pound rock inside your head known as your brain. It’s sole responsibility is to keep you safe, to defend established habits, practice routines, and avoid risks and trying new things. The more you fall inline with these actions the less work your brain has to do. This creates a life long vacation in which the ordinary and mundane take over and adventure and personal growth become obsolete.
So how exactly can you learn to get out of our own f***ing way and open up your life to limitless possibilities?
It wasn’t until I left my job a few months back that I really began to see that the only thing that was holding me back from the life I wanted to lead was myself. I would blame anything and everything under the sun; from my job, to my finances, to my girlfriend, to time, my resources, my knowledge, anything I could put the blame on I was doing so except for the one thing that really needed it… myself.
I recently finished a book by Robert Cooper titled “Get Out of Your Own Way.”
Fitting right? 🙂
It really brought me back to that time and made me wish I would had found the book a bit earlier. As my quest for 52 books in 52 weeks continues I’d like to share some of the knowledge from that book along with my own personal experiences.
Get your popcorn ready…. and get out of your own fucking way.
THE SIXTH SENSE
We rely on our senses so much to shape the world around us but often you can be left trapped by those definitions.
- The smell of food can give us the impression that something is tasty.
- The sight of the horizon not to long ago convinced people the world was flat.
- Forever it was thought the atom was the smallest particle in the world. This upset the quarks and the leptons and caused them to come out of hiding (my inner nerd coming out). Even funnier is that people still don’t believe they are the smallest and the search continues.
- Fasting will destroy your muscle and wreck your metabolism.
But it has been shown those once truths are now fallacies that have been proven over time.
The only way to keep your senses in check is to create connection between you and the world around you by asking questions, challenging expectations and ideas, discussing assumptions, and exploring your perceptions. Once you start to do these things you go from being a bystander in life to an active participant.
Personally I was always guilty of falling into the feeling and thinking trap. I would incessantly analyze and think about a bad situation instead of actively “DOING” anything about it. I am now a firm believer that doing creates awareness because it allows for you to be connected on all levels – Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
It is through “doing” things and not just thinking or feeling them that makes you an authentic human being.
For example I recently came across an article discussing Feeling, thinking, and doing. In it there was an excellent example provided when you think about finances and money.
- Feeling: I am anxious about money
- Thinking: I will never have enough
- Doing: I will create a sense of control by actively managing my finances. I will not live in fear of not having enough.
The action of doing is what makes a difference.
SHOW ME THE LIGHT
The reason you might not be able to get out of your own way is because you’re not doing anything about it. I apologize if that is a bit brash but often we convince ourselves that we are doing everything we can to achieve our goals when that is not the case.
Your eating healthy but you just went grocery shopping and bought a package of cookies.
You’re doing everything you can to quit your job except for actually looking for a new one or start your own.
I don’t have it all down yet either. I’m still in pursuit as well. It’s why I read so damn much. I want answers.
In his book Get Out of Your Own Way, Robert Cooper focuses on five key points for getting out of your own way. I’m feeling them.
Direction – not motion:
“How busy you are isn’t really important. What counts more is how effectively you’re moving in a productive direction.”
Your noodle likes habits because they are automatic. Habits are wonderful because they make your life easier. It is only when change is required that you’ll find yourself struggling the most. This is because it takes work, hard work. Something our brain does not necessarily want to do.
The easiest way to get your mind to embrace change and excel in these situations is to give it clear direction instead of just asking it to go.
Visualize:
Paint a clear picture for yourself. At the start of each day take a few minutes to visualize what needs to be done to get you closer to your goal. This doesn’t have to take you forever but it should be crystal clear. Don’t just think about the outcome but instead focus on visualizing the behaviors that bring upon the outcome you want.
The uniqueness that is you:
You have a unique set of strengths, weaknesses, abilities, and resources that are not available to anyone else. Use yours as a roadmap to achieving what you want. It’s always a great idea to reference those that have done it before you but remember that their skill set differs from yours. The road you need to take might be different.
Teach your goals Yoga:
One major lesson that I have learned is that things can change abruptly and the ability to adapt is vital to success in this life. It is almost certain that you will come to sticking points while on the pursuit of achievement. Your ability and alertness to when these moments hit often can determine your success.
Weight loss is such a great example. You most certainly will hit a plateau and the mindfulness to recognize it and the ability to make the necessary changes to keep progressing are up to you. The change may be simple like adding in some interval training if you have not been doing it, or swapping out some starchy carbs with some veggies. Other times it may be more difficult but your ability to adapt will be key.
Focus – not time:
Your brain doesn’t necessarily want you to try new things. It likes routines and the status quo because following a predetermined path requires less effort and work. One way in which it will try to keep you from breaking free is by posing hypotheticals.
- What if this happens?
- What if I try my hardest and fail?
- What if this goes wrong?
- What if I don’t have enough knowledge?
- What if I’m not strong enough?
- What if I run out of money?
Meanwhile, while your busy thinking about all those hypotheticals future possibilities go unnoticed and no action is ever taken. Try not to focus initially on giving 100% but instead try to focus on just getting started. Anytime you get started on a new project, venture, or goal there is a learning process. Accept that their might be bumps in the road – but remember that you have the ability, resources, and strength to get through them. Refer back to a time when you had to do this.
What are some examples where you had to learn a new skill, work through something difficult, or change plans?
Team up with someone.
Other people with similar passion and goals can enrich your thinking. Have a cup of coffee with another entrepreneur, hit the gym with a fitness buddy, or take group cooking class and feed off of each others ideas and energy.
Capacity – not conformity annd the four brains.
Your brain likes to think that if you’re doing the same thing as everyone else then everything must be A-OK. Remember that we all have different talents, skills, abilities, and resources. Listen to not only your head but your heart, gut, and spine.
One of the reasons you might struggle so much with getting out of your own way is because it can be pretty damn tough to know which one to listen to and when.
And don’t tell me this is hog-wash. How often have you said my head tells me one thing but my heart tells me another?
Most of us make decisions with our heads. This usually leads to the same, majority, and comfortable decision. Nothing wrong with this at all unless of course you are trying to get the f*** our of your own way. The best way to start listening to those other brains every once in a while is by doing the following.
Practice letting go:
Your brain wants to keep everything. The more familiarity the better. Practice letting go by getting rid of stuff. Clothes you don’t need, clutter on your desk, that skateboard you swear you’ll ride again. If its sentimental try taking a picture of it and saving it on the computer. Learning to let go is a great way to free yourself.
Listen to intuition:
If something feels right or doesn’t feel right don’t ignore it. Even if your intuition goes against all logic make sure to honestly assess the situation and take some extra time if needed.
Which one is often right?:
You’ve probably made many decisions using all four brains. The head, gut, heart, and spine. Take a look back at previous decisions and think about which brain you used. Which one leads you down the path most often… listen to that one 🙂
Energy – not effort:
This is often the case when trying to work harder instead of smarter. It’s definitely a tricky one because society and myself included admire hard work so much. It is a trait I think that it is safe to say we all wish to display. Take an honest look at some of those that you admire most. Were they working harder or really working smarter than everyone else?
Remember that doing the same thing over and over again even with more effort and expecting different result is the definition of insanity. Put your energy towards a different route.
Instead of trying to go through a brick wall how about over, under, or around?
Impact – not intentions:
Again this goes back to “doing.” It is one thing to desire and intend to do big things but what are you really doing. How are you making an impact within your family, community, friends, career, and even yourself?
BREAK THE RULES
Set an alarm on your phone, set it up so that you receive an email reminder, post sticky notes. Remind yourself that although rules provide structure they often don’t make a lot of sense. Everything is constantly changing and evolving and that includes you. What worked today might not work tomorrow and if you don’t learn to adapt then you’ll be left behind.
I definitely don’t have all the answers either but I’m on a mission to get as close as I can.
What are some examples of you getting out of your own way?
How have you been able to adapt to sudden changes? I’d like to learn from you as well. Share below.
Live limitless,
Justin