I’ve received a few emails in the past asking me if there are any specific rules that I live by or if there are any “commandments” I follow to live a limitless lifestyle.
Is it actually possible to achieve a limitless lifestyle and what that exactly means to me?
After reading the question I was a little disappointed in myself for not actually answering the question before. I mean geez, I’ve been writing here for over a year now and have published over 190 posts, plus a few others on various websites and not once have I addressed what exactly a limitless lifestyle means to me, my rules/philosophies to live by, and how you can achieve a limitless lifestyle… or if it’s even possible.
So let me start by saying I’m sorry. Sorry for not addressing the question earlier. Now that I’ve manned up, let’s get to business shall well?
IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO LIVE A LIMITLESS LIFESTYLE?
Most people are ok with living a comfortable, safe, and secure lifestyle… Hell, there are times when I think to myself that’s not such a bad idea, and to be honest I do like a little bit of familiarity and secureness in my life. It’s like a warm blanket on a cold night. But man, my passion and love for living life and getting better at being human just get the best of me way too often. I’d much rather take risks and constantly challenge myself in the pursuit of a life that I am proud of and that I know am capable of.
Before you decide if it’s possible to live a limitless lifestyle you have to define what it is right? That to me is one of the biggest mistakes many of us make. We start to pursue things before we even get clear about what they are, mean to us, or why we even think they’re worthy enough to pursue.
Take any goal that you may have for example whether it be health, career, travel, fun, and play, or relationship-related. The goal itself is often described in such broad terms or arbitrary terms.
- I want to get healthier (or I just want to lose 20 pounds, the most common thing I hear)
- I want to make six figures a year
- I want to be able to travel more
- I want more free time
- I want to be married by the time I’m 25…. or older if you’re a dude 🙂
There is never anything specific defined and more often than not our pursuits have been defined by someone else. I mean we’re all supposed to go to school right? Get a good job with a high paying salary and benefits. Get married at a specific age, weigh a certain amount, own a home at a specific point in our life, and so on and so forth. That leads me to the limitless living rule #1…
Limitless Living Rule #1: Make your own damn rules
Some rules that have been established I find to be very important. For instance, I like the speed limit, I also am particularly fond of the legal drinking age, and the fact that you can’t walk down the street, sock a guy in his nose and take his wallet without some repercussions (hopefully). Those rules just make sense to me.
There’s no one size fits all approach to living your life so I am often confused as to why so many other people or institutions try to define it for us.
Hold that thought, actually, I’m not surprised, the reason is that conformity, familiarity, and safety make life easier and less confusing for the majority. When you get those trouble-makers (like you if you’re reading this), questioners of the status quo, and rebels with a cause that constantly question why things are done a certain way, or have the ability to do things differently you create confusion and comfortability.
Think about this for a minute, what is so inherently wrong with laying down in the middle of a Starbucks in you’re tired, turning to face the other direction in a crowded elevator, dancing in a clothing store if your “JAM” comes on.
The worst mistake any of us can make is falling into the trap of validation or trying to keep up with the Joneses. Just because everyone else is doing things one way doesn’t mean you have to. Ignore other’s expectations of you and start paying more attention to the expectations you have for yourself.
The best way to start making your own damn rules is to get yourself a mission statement. One of the best ways I have found to discover your own personal mission statement is to play the Eulogy game (some of you may know of this). It’s a visualization exercise in which you picture yourself on the day of your own funeral. Get as specific and as detailed about the room, the people in the room, and what you even look like.
Now I know this might be uncomfortable for some of you but like my Pops always has said to me,
If you’re afraid of dying than essentially your afraid of living and none of us can escape that. -Tom Miller (thanks Pop)
No picture of what your eulogy consists of. What is being said about you, what is the environment like, how many people are there?
- What are some of your lifetime achievements and when and how did you achieve them?
- How many people were you able to impact in a positive manner?
- What are your closest friends saying? Family? Those that barely knew you or have crossed your path?
This is the ultimate way to explore the highest expectations you have for yourself. It often takes that “death-bed syndrome” mentality to get it out of us. To many of us have to have a gun to our head, feel so much pain, or uncomfortably in order to be motivated enough to pursue something. That’s a damn shame it my book, the possibilities of life in and of itself should be enough motivation for anyone to go after what is most important to them.
When I asked myself these questions I came to the conclusion that I consider my life to be one giant canvas in which I hold the paintbrushes to create any sort of masterpiece I wish. The definition of art is this.
The expression or application of human creative skill and imagination
My life has become an art for me. Every day I get to wake up with an infinite amount of choices I can make that will lead me down a particular path. I have the ability every single day to choose a life that is authentic and meaningful to me or to make choices based upon standards that someone else has deemed appropriate.
Needless to say, I choose my authentic self.
So when I sat down to ask myself those eulogy questions I came up with this:
My purpose is to connect with the highest version of myself on a more consistent basis day in and day out. To be relentless in my pursuits and to be a source of contagious positive energy that others can use to ignite their own inner vision of what a limitless life is to them.
As a reminder, I try to read this quote by Marcus Aurelius to myself every morning.
Everything—a horse, a vine—is created for some duty… For what task, then, were you yourself created? A man’s true delight is to do the things he was made for.
Am I able to do it every day? Nope, but I’m ok with that. Perfection isn’t where it’s at for me, consistency is.
Rule #2: Anything that bothers you is your issue. People don’t do things to you they do them for themselves
You have to take responsibility for your own actions and behaviors, it is no one else’s fault but our own if we allow ourselves to get walked all over, are bored, upset, depressed, lazy, stressed, or a host of any other emotions. If you want something it is your job to go get it. If you don’t want something it is your job to not let it consume you.
Respect and empathy for other decisions, lifestyle choices, philosophies, and behaviors is of the highest importance. The majority of people in this world are good despite what you see on the news and I focus my attention on all that is right in this world as opposed to what is wrong. There will always be events and actions taken that are beyond your control, belief, and imagination. Embrace and marvel in those that are in the best interest of humanity and let’s ask ourselves what we can do to contribute positively and unconditionally to those that may need our help.
Rule #3: Your beliefs create your reality
Your beliefs determine the things you will accomplish. If you don’t believe you can achieve something like weightless, a specific career, or even a relationship with a certain type of person how hard do you think you’ll actually work for it?
Your beliefs become your operating system, everything you see, think, feel, and experience will be influenced by what you believe to be the truth. For example, if you believe the only way to wealth is through working more hours for someone else that will be your reality. However, if you believe the path to wealth is through entrepreneurship that will be the path you embark on.
If you believe life is difficult then it will be. If you believe things are impossible then they will be. If you believe that you’re not smart enough, attractive enough, or capable then you never will be. You have the ability to create new possibilities for yourself every day by eliminating limiting beliefs.
The funny thing about limiting beliefs is their often not even our own. Typically they are handed down to us at a young age by an authority figure like a teacher, parent, or peer. It’s my belief that the opposite holds true for myself because my parents were so adamant when I was growing up that I had the ability to achieve anything I could ever want if I just believed I could do it…. Thanks, Mom and Dad, much love goes out to you.
The first step to eliminating any limiting beliefs is to acknowledge them. I suggest starting with the one that is causing the most discomfort for you. It’s much easier and less overwhelming to conquer one thing at a time. So for example if you are a guy that is struggling with women or a girl who is struggling with men and feel like you can’t get or don’t deserve a good one ask yourself why? Why do you feel like that?
The second step is to take those reasons why and find examples that disprove them. So if you feel like you can’t get a specific type of woman or man because you are not smart enough or have a certain level of education find examples of people with a similar educational background that are pulling it off. For me personally, I always maintained a limiting belief about being able to create my own online business because I lacked the digital know-how to pull it off. I found examples of others doing it, contacted them, and quickly squashed that belief.
You can apply this to anything from weight loss to career to personal relationships.
If you need some more examples of how your beliefs or perspectives create your reality look no further than Rory Sutherlands Tedx talk on how perspective is everything.
Rule #4: Most of the major events in life are benign
Some of you may have just cocked your head to the side and squinted an eye and maybe raised an eyebrow, thinking to yourself whaaaaaaaa?
What I mean by most major events in life are benign is that the majority of them have no significant effect on us yet we treat them like they do. In a sense, we exaggerate the importance or the impact they have on our lives. Some of the major life events I am talking about are things like getting married, having kids, or changing careers. I know, I know, some of you right now is like what the heck dude, how can you say that?
In a study conducted by Kanner, Coyne, Schaefer, and Lazarus it was shown that the little things like quality of sleep, personal relationships with friends and family, and meaningful work contribute more to our well-being than major life events. So taking care of your health, surrounding yourself with optimistic and inspiring people, and pursuing work that you feel contributes to something bigger than yourself goes a long way.
Rule #5: Happiness should not be something you chase but a byproduct of the decisions you make.
Man, there is so much research out there about happiness, what it is, what it isn’t, and how to achieve more of it. I’ve even written a post about it here. But essentially to be happier just start making more decisions that are aligned to those things most important to you. I have personally struggled with this in the past and even still do on occasion in my personal relationships. I’ll make decisions based upon what is most important to someone else even if it goes against what I believe is best. This is the fastest way to stress, anxiety, and discomfort.
Essentially you’ll achieve more happiness on your own if you just start doing the stuff that means the most to you. If you like going to bed early and getting up early you should do it, if you like working out don’t skip workouts, if eating Paleo is important to you try to limit how often you veer from that style of eating, if you don’t want to work 80 hour weeks then don’t go to Law school and become a lawyer :)… I think ya get me.
Rule #6: Invest in yourself, knowledge, experience, and personal relationships
Want to spend your time more wisely and stretch your money further, invest in yourself, experiences, and personal relationships. If you want to hear a damn shame it’s that I didn’t start reading books until I was 21 years old… Let me rephrase that, I did not read my first book from front to back until I was 21 years old. I wasted some good years in which I could have really been diving into my own personal development.
How are you currently investing in yourself?
Education: Books by the likes of Stephen Covey, James Allen, Anthony Robbins, Napolean Hill, Dale Carnegie, Tim Ferriss, George Samuel, and Marcus Aurelius have so much wisdom and practical advice.
Health: Eating more real food and consistently being active on a daily basis.
Mindfulness/Meditation: Practicing the art of quieting the mind and paying attention and become more aware. Your actions and emotions are always your responsibility.
Taking on personal challenges and addressing fears: Doing those things that help to get you comfortable with the uncomfortable.
Personal finance: Spending less and saving more.
Relationships: Judge people based on their behavior and spend more time with those that can contribute to your growth as well as those that you can contribute to as well.
And that brings me to here
Is it even possible to live a life without limits?” The simple answer is NO. That might surprise some of you, given the name of this site is post but here’s the deal. There will always be some sort of limits we all face. But there are not as many of them as we think. For instance, if I asked you is it possible to walk on water you’re gut reaction would be to say NO, it is not possible.
Just because something hasn’t been done yet doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. There are a million ways to do one thing, tricks and hacks like that above to accomplish some pretty awesome feats. Are you willing to do the work, push past the non-believers, and commit to your beliefs?
It’s not boxing you in and saying that’s what you are.
What rules do you try to live by?