Someone Could’ve Warned Me – Wk 7: Before he cheats

Someone Could’ve Warned Me

Week 7: Before He Cheats

This week I’m going to divert from my normal format. After a week of feeling a bit cocky about my new-found weight loss and a vacation to visit family up in Montana, I feel the need to “preach girl”, as my brother would say. Yo-yo dieters with a Monday mission to start fresh and get their ass in gear have just experienced what I want to talk about. It is the white elephant in the room that follows us and what we bank our entire week on.

A wise man once told me, “Tyler you have cheated your body for ten years, don’t you think you owe it to yourself not to cheat for a year”. That wise guy was my brother Zac, two weeks ago, he said it with love, don’t get it twisted.

As I approached the 20lb weight loss mark, I felt myself starting to relax on the Paleo diet I had held so tightly to. This always begins slowly like a cold; first you have a little scratch in your throat and by the end of the week your coughing your lungs out with watery eyes and a red nose. I had let one cheat day turn into a second cheat meal, and by the end of my vacation I was dabbling in ice cream cones and enchiladas.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why don’t we stick with the things that bring us good health and in return happiness?

And why do we succumb to food like its “NOT” going to kill us. I have heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and high blood pressure all throughout my family tree. So why isn’t that the first thing that goes through my head before each meal? Instead my meals are chosen based upon taste. A News flash folks, in the real world taste is brought to you on a silver platter in the form of salt, fat, and chemicals. Basically this shiz is getting ridiculous. The easy excuse would be, I am human. Secondarily, I have been engrained that food is a reward. So let’s dissect this, for myself and for you, I need some damn answers.

We are all born sinners and mistake makers. We’ve all been told from an early age that we learn from our pitfalls, and that our trials and tribulations can only make us stronger. We draw the line at our food consumption though. We can’t view unhealthy eating as wrong, and indulging every once in a while shouldn’t be frowned upon. We look at a person who is struggling with their size in, judgment as they put away a calorie filled meal, when 99% of us put horrible things in our own bodies multiple times throughout the day. We’ve grown up on convenience, and been hand fed from a drive thru window. How did we get here? How did I get here? There is one simple answer that plagues our human souls to the core, “quick fixes”. We don’t take time for shit anymore.

I have heard and used complaints like this in the past in regards to eating healthy, “I don’t have time to prepare the food.” Well I sure have enough time to watch sports, and the “FOOD CHANEL” on a daily basis. Or even better, “There is no way I can live without carbs.” People only associate a carb as bread, pasta, or potatoes disregarding vegetables. Sometimes I stand in front of a mirror disgusted by myself and will follow that up with a pizza for dinner. I get frustrated when I work out for a couple of weeks and I’m not totally ripped up yet.

HOLY HELL MAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!? My point again, we don’t take the time needed for anything.

I don’t think I’m any different then the majority of the human race, we are killing ourselves. We are “selfish.” We are selfish with our time, we are selfish with our diets and we are selfish with our brain. We are happy when we lose weight and feel good, but we are also happy when we are gorging ourselves with ice cream…bro that doesn’t work. We live our lives wanting to be in shape and looking sexy but we order thousand calorie meals almost weekly. A wise guy once said to me,

“ Tyler you have been cheating your body for ten years don’t you think you owe it to yourself to not cheat for a year?”

The answer to that question is easy. Yes!

The Fix
While home on our family vacation I had a chance to visit a hero of mine, my grandfather. He is 83 years old and has worked everyday of his life. He has rough hands and wrinkles from years of refurbishing antiques in the sun. He is a quiet man who only asks meaningful questions and gives advice when he knows he has the best answer. By all accounts he is the very successful patriarch of our family. With age he has endured an elbow surgery, knee surgery, and a total hip replacement. I have never once in my life heard him complain about an ache or pain.

You feel really little in the presence of giants, and that’s how I feel about him. I always wonder to myself how he stays so strong and so young. I believe I found my answer to this on our visit. With pride he and my grandmother showed off their amazing garden, full of vegetables. I remember calling him not to long ago and asking how to get rid of weeds from my rose bushes, his answer was simple to my quick fix question, “get down on your knees like I do and pull them out.”

I guess this awesome garden is where he had been doing that.  Directly behind was a chicken coop full off chickens laying organic eggs. For years and years they have been growing their own food and canning it. All the meals I have ever eaten at their house had been made with something they had grown; it just took me 28yrs to figure that out.

Now I am not saying everyone needs a garden, or chickens. That’s not the moral of this story. The moral is, if an 83 yr old man can take the time to invest in his, and his family’s health, so can you, and so can I. Quit cheating and cutting corners in your quest for life domination. If health is a true priority then so is the food you put in it. Find the time in your schedule to devote to your fitness and take the time to prepare your food. When you’re in your 80’s enjoying the life you have led, weeding your garden, you’ll be smiling.

“SOMEONE COULD’VE WARNED ME” Warning of the week: If you think you can escape the dangers of years of bad dieting, look around at all people with illnesses caused directly, and or indirectly by quick fix food. Consider yourselves warned.

Paleo Recipe
Crockpot Cuban Lettuce Wraps


1 head of butter lettuce, washed

For the Pork

–         2 lb pork shoulder roast

–         1 yellow onion, sliced

–         6 cloves of garlic, peeled

–         1 lime, juiced

–         1 orange, juiced and zested

–         1 tablespoon oregano

–         ½ teaspoon cumin

–         ½ cup vegetable broth

–         Salt and pepper to taste

For the Slaw

–         1 head of purple cabbage, sliced to thickness preference

–         5-6 dill pickles, sliced lengthwise

–         5-6 tablespoons yellow mustard (the kind you put on burgers, not the powder)

–         2 tablespoons olive oil

–         1 teaspoon white wine vinegar

–         Salt and pepper to taste


1)         Add your pork ingredients to the Crockpot and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours

2)        Add all your slaw ingredients into a large bowl, using as much mustard as suits your fancy.

3)        Once your pork is done cooking, shred into bite size pieces

4)         Place shredded pork and slaw into a leaf of butter lettuce and eat up

Till next week ya’ll!