WARNING – There is a fair amount of profanity in this post. I try to keep it PG or at least PG13 as often as possible but I was all hyped up on Green Tea and could not contain myself 😉 The tea made me do it. So proceed with caution.
I think it’s fair to say that we all f*ck up a lot. I don’t know of a single person that is immune to an occasional foot in the mouth or bad decision. We even have a schmorgesborg of places at our disposal to screw up. At work, at home, with our diets, workouts, friends, family, relationships…….Feel free to stop me at anytime here guys.
Introducing, Mr and Ms What-If
Personally I look forward to a good screw up from time to time. If I’m not screwing up here and there than I know I’m not taking chances and getting outside of my comfort zone. If things are going perfectly and all the stars seemed to be aligned I know I’m slacking in the personal challenge department.
If you’ve been reading the site for a while than you know we preach the importance of getting comfortable with the uncomfortable here. If you haven’t been reading and are just stopping by, well shame on you… you’ve been missing out on all the fun.
But when taking risks how do you handle when things don’t seem to go so perfectly? How can you remove the what-ifs?
- It takes to long
- I don’t have enough will power
- I fail
- I’m not smart enough
- Not an expert
- Don’t know how to get started
Insert any other what-if you can imagine right here ___________________ .
When the what-ifs start showing up it’s usually a case of over thinking and over analyzing everything. We go over every possible scenario of what could go wrong. We spend so much of our time on negative thoughts that we literally convince ourselves that there is no way anything could go right.
While it’s important to think about what could go wrong so that we’re prepared simply acknowledge it and give it a hug. Then promptly put your hand in its face and push it out of your way. You’ve got some positive thinking and positive action to get to.
When ever taking on a new challenge or something that scares you or makes you nervous take out a pen and piece of paper and make three columns. Title them with the following.
What Is Going To Go Right
How I’m Going To Feel After That Happens
I Plan On Celebrating By
Fill in each column with as many items as you possibly can. Refer to the list often. Carry it in your wallet, back pocket, or brazier. Anywhere you can get to immediately will do. The minute you start to “what-if” yourself refer to that list. Read it, read it often. Read it when you wake up, have someone read it to you as a bedtime story, record yourself reading it so that you can listen to it in the car…. I think you get the idea.
Close your eyes and picture it. Picture all the things that are going to go right. The smile on your face, the happy dance you’ll perform, the goose-bumps you’ll get. Picture the celebration you’ll undertake after you accomplish it.
We think too much and feel too little – Charlie Chaplin
Think a little less today and feel a little more.
I’m immune to what-if’s but prone to the “quit’n when things get toughicitis”
Maybe you don’t have a tough time getting started, but what you do have is a tough time keep’n on when nothing seems to be going right. If you run into this situation simply check-in with yourself.
Where your expectations realistic? I’m all for setting the bar high…. real high but it’s just as important to make sure our goals are feasible. If you expect to lose 15 pounds in a month there is a good chance you’ll be disappointed. Reevaluate, rework, and restart.
Are you looking at someone else’s timeline? We all have different abilities, strengths, and weaknesses, so it’s safe to say we will all get different results. Just because your friend was able to run their first marathon in four hours doesn’t mean you will. A sure-fire way to stress yourself out is to start comparing yourself to others. Do the best that you can do, with what you have, with your own style and zest.
I don’t have the resources? If you can read, write, and count you have the resources. Their were millions upon millions of immigrants that came to the states that could not do any of the three. They made it happen. You can to. What are you good at? What do you know? What are you passionate about?
If you still feel like you are lacking than take time to invest in yourself. If you have been dreaming about becoming an entrepreneur than hit up amazon buy the top five books that are out there and start reading your ass off. Send an email to someone who is doing what you want to do and ask them how they did it. Join clubs, start a meet up, surround yourself with people who are passionate about the same things as you. All that good mojo will rub of an you’ll be invincible.
If things get tough and it feels the proverbial poo has hit the fan, sit back, relax, and take deep breath. Now evaluate.
What went wrong?
How could this have been prevented?
What do I need to change?
Fix the faults that you can and concentrate on what you can do now. So if you miss a workout what can you do now? Eat a double bacon cheeseburger? What can you do now? You get to decide how you want to respond to an event. You can either turtle or peacock. It’s your call.
Simma down now
I’m going to be honest. I have a terrible habit with taking on too much at one time. I’m convinced I can do it all and no task is to big or too much for me.
I end up with the world on my plate, a huge headache, and steam coming out of my ears. One thing I have been learning to do more often is take on one thing at a time and to start small. I write quite a bit. I try to write posts on this site, Nerve Rush, Lifehack, and guest post from time to time. Add in a couple of side projects, relationships, fun, health, sleep, and well – needless to say it’s just a little overwhelming at times.
Dial it back. If you are trying to find the time to exercise instead of convincing yourself you need an hour just commit to 5 or 10 minutes. It makes the task more manageable and less daunting. Or maybe find some sneaky ways to add in activity. Take the stairs more often, park further away, race your kids at the park, do some push-ups at your desk. There are no rules to fitness. Be a kid again and make up the game as you go.
We often see giants when there are none
Mole hills into mountains is how the expression goes. Or maybe much-to-do about nothing is an even better fit here. When things get tough our vision gets blurred and the troubles seem much bigger than they actually are and the good things seem much smaller.
Get hyper focused on what is going right. Sure you just lost a job but have you been wanting to quit for years? A long-term relationship just went kaput but were you both arguing all the time or never seeing each other? The weight scale has said the same thing for the past 2 months but you’ve lost 3 inches in your waist.
It’s not what’s happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny. Anthony Robbins
What’s going good today?